yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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