i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
