Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
