okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
