he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
