we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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