There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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