Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
false alarm, still single
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