How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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