Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so let's talk penis.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
