If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
