I'm jealous of your bromance
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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