when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
