You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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