Dual....:-)
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
