who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
