When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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