Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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