Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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