yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize