I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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