i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
