those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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