My hand turned me down
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
