I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
