Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
