You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
