he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
