I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
