But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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