What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
