I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
