Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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