theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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