Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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