I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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