haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize