I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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