Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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