do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
