Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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