Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
