Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Two words: nipple clamps
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