dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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