I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
