dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There's a naked man in my car right now.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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