Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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