legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize