i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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