You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
