Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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