How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
