Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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