Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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