apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
