Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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