I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
