perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you would pick up someone in the library
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
