So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
