Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
