Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
