I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize