Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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